


What Will Not and Can Never Be...Or Whatever

by Shinoda_Obsession



Category: Linkin Park
Genre: Angst, Christmas Decorating, Drugs, F/M, M/M, Rating: NC17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-04
Updated: 2015-12-04
Packaged: 2018-05-04 21:51:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5349782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shinoda_Obsession/pseuds/Shinoda_Obsession
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike helps put up the tree with the Benningtons but it proves to be too much.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It has been two years since he met Talinda. They had met at a party and fell in love. That was when he and Mike had decided to end their romantic relationship. Samantha, his ex-wife, had always suspected they were together and threatened to brainwash his children into thinking he was abusive if he didn’t break up with Mike. As a last resort to save his marriage that’s what they did, but she left him anyways. At least the kids were protected from her now. At least now he had a woman who loved him and respected him. 

His heart ached every time he looked at Mike or whenever he found one of his shirts he had hidden in his dresser amongst his own. Sometimes he would convince himself that maybe Talinda would understand what he and Mike had. He wanted to be with her, but when they were on the road it was like sending him away for torture. They got along but they were still trying to find the line between friendship and romance. That’s the problem with falling in love with your best friend.

There were little things he would do out of habit, like bringing Mike sushi from his favorite local cuisine, or texting him goodnight before bed each night. Even though he left out the “I love you”, the sentiment was still there and they both knew it. “I need you to stop texting me before bed Chaz, it’s too hard.” he replied one night. And that was the end of that.

Talinda seemed ok with the way he and Mike interacted. Mike would come over to hang out with them and the kids, the kids loved Uncle Mike. There would be little moments when Mike passed by him and Chester would inhale his scent. Just his scent was enough to lead to images of nights spent tangled in each other’s arms. Candles lit or fire ablaze, submerged in a bathtub or cuddling in a hot tub, any of those memories were perfect. They would invade his mind during sleep, forcing him to wake with an erection. Sometimes he would get lucky and remove himself from the bed before Talinda noticed and indulge in a dream of Mike. Other times Talinda would mistake his erection for a longing for her and he would be compelled to release in her instead.

Tonight Mike was coming over to help decorate the Christmas tree with them. Chester missed him the most around the holidays. He was happy for the secret moments they had together, whether there was actually any meaning to them or not. Earlier that day Chester had gotten the boxes of decorations out. He was separating the outside lights from the inside ones when Mike walked through the door.

“Hey man, how’s it going?” Mike greeted him cheerfully.

“Hey! So far so good. I’ve got some of it separated. That over there is just kinda general inside stuff. I’m trying to find the icicle lights for the gutter. Do you see them?”

“Maybe they’re in the box labeled ‘Icicle Lights’?”

“What? Where?”

“Right next to the tree over there dumbass!” teased Mike.

“Damnit! I’ve been looking for those for the last 20 minutes! That was the first thing I brought up!”

Mike’s face lit up with laughter. Chester couldn’t help but think how gorgeous and contagious his happiness was. That man could brighten up the darkest day.

Just then Talinda and the kids came upstairs with more boxes. “We found all the garland!” exclaimed the kids.

“Garland, ornaments and the Christmas dishes. Also Chester the ladder is cleared out now. You guys can get started on the outside of the house and we’ll start doing the stair rails and the tree.”

“But it’s cold outside!” said Chester, “I have no body fat to keep me warm!”

“That’s why they invented these things called winter jackets. They’re all the rave these days.” Mike said with a smirk.

“Mike I don’t know what he’d do without you to kick him in the ass. I give in too easy.” Said Talinda.

“It’s ok Tally, you’re good to him, that’s all that matters.”

“Aw, you’re too sweet.” Gushed Talinda as she kissed him on the cheek.

“Alright fatty, get your coat, we’re braving the cold.”

Chester stomped his way over to the coat closet and put on his jacket, gloves and a beanie. He paused as his eye caught one of Mike’s beanies. It was his favorite one, the one with a brim. Mike had just the right amount of swag to pull it off. At first he felt sad, but then he decided to be funny and wear it instead. Maybe I’ll get a spanking for teasing him, thought Chester giddily.

Mike had dragged the ladder outside as Chester carried the box of lights. 

“Ok, who’s on top?” asked Mike.

A rush of excitement shot through Chester. “What?”

Mike realized what he said and decided to rephrase. “Who’s going to get on the ladder?”

“Oh. You’d probably do better with that part. I’ll be the surveyor.”

“Watching and not touching was never your specialty Ches.” Mike said with a wink as he began the climb up the ladder.

Chester felt heady. Maybe wearing the beanie made Mike feel sentimental? Enough to flirt with him? They always seemed to be closer during the holidays when they were together, it’s why Chester would dread them after they broke up.

Chester began wrapping the light-studded garland around the porch railing. He remembered the little Christmas tree they would have in their hotel room when they were on tour. They’d all buy each other a gift and open them together. Later on Mike and Chester would surprise each other with more extravagant gifts. One year Mike bought him diamond studs and he wore them every day for the entire tour. Chester had given him a white gold chain linked by tiny hearts. He was almost embarrassed to give it to him, worried Mike would tease him for it but instead Mike cherished it, tearing up when he opened the designer box. He saved it for special occasions.

When Mike came back down the ladder his nose was starting to redden. He too was wearing a hat and a scarf but the wind was bitter. Chester looked at him and couldn’t resist kissing his nose. Mike gave him a sad smile.

“I just came down to move the ladder over. How does it look?”

“They look crooked to me.”

“Ches, they’re in a straight line. Are you high?”

“Yeah well we thought you were straight and look at you now!” Chester joked.

“I could say the same about you! At least I only ALMOST married Anna. You married twice and had kids! Poser.”

“Only because you couldn’t make up your mind. I had to find some stability.”

“Yeah look how that turned out.”

“Talinda and I are great together. She loves me and I love her. It may have taken a few mistakes but at least I found her.”

Mike’s face turned grim. “Is that what you think we were? A mistake?” As hard as he tried, Mike couldn’t keep the hurt out of his voice. It stabbed Chester like a blade.

Chester couldn’t believe what he just said. Never in his life did he think they were a mistake! If anything Samantha and Talinda were the mistakes! He was the only thing he got right in his life, and he threw it away for two women he wasn’t even wholly with. Mike would always have a part of him.

“Oh god no Mike. That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s ok Chester. I kinda got the feeling it wasn’t what you wanted when you couldn’t leave Sam.”

“Mike no, please don’t…”

“I’m gonna go inside and get some coffee.”

Fuck! Thought Chester. How could I be so stupid! Things were going so well. He left the decorations and went inside to see how their progress was going.

“Hey babe! How do the railings look?” asked Talinda excitedly.

“They look beautiful baby. You always do such a great job with the decorating. Where are the kids?”

“They went down to look for the tree topper. It must have fallen out of one of the boxes. Hey, I saw Mike come in and he didn’t say a word to me. Is everything ok?”

“Yeah we just had a little disagreement. I’m going to go check on the kids.”

As Chester made his way to the basement he heard the laughter of both his kids and Mike. This is what it should have been like, he thought to himself. We would have been so happy.

“What’s going on down here?”

“We’re seeing who has the worst breath!” Said Tyler.

“Yeah, Uncle Mike is winning because he’s drinking coffee and coffee is gross.” Said Draven.

Chester remembered how Mike tasted when he was drinking coffee. It was the only time he ever liked the taste of the drink. He looked at Mike but Mike looked away. No, I have to get this back to where it was. I need to let him know we weren’t a mistake.

“Ok well, carry on children. I’m going to go back upstairs to help your mom.”

Chester went to his room and found the diamond studs. Maybe this will convince him.

“Ches! It’s time to light up the tree and put the star on! Are you coming?” shouted Talinda.

“Be right down!” replied Chester.

Maybe he could convince Talinda that he and Mike wanted to go out tonight instead of eating dinner with the family. Then they would get a chance to talk alone.

Chester climbed the ladder and put the star on the tree. Tyler plugged in the lights and the 7 foot tall tree lit up the room. As the kids wow-ed over the tree, Chester put his arm around Talinda’s shoulders and gave her a subtle kiss on the cheek. He leaned in a whispered “Would you care if Mike and I went out for drinks instead of chilling here at home like we planned?”

“No babe that’s fine. I wasn’t in the mood to cook anyways. The kids and I will just order pizza. You guys have fun.”

Chester looked over at Mike who was helping Tyler look at an ornament higher up than he could reach. After Mike put him down Chester tapped his shoulder.

“Hey, you wanna get out of here? Go someplace more adult?”

“Why so you can continue telling me how happy you are?”

“No, so we can talk about this. Please? Let me apologize over dinner?”

Mike couldn’t resist Chester’s pleading. How could he deny that he wanted to spend some time alone with him? “Are you sure Tally’s cool with it?”

“Yeah she’s fine, they’re gonna order pizzas.”

“Ok.”

Chester and Mike drove to one of their favorite pubs downtown. There was a roof balcony that looked over the city lights and had a very romantic atmosphere. They kept to small talk for a while, but Chester couldn’t take the pain in his heart anymore.

“Mike, about earlier, I don’t think you understood what I was saying. You of all people know how tough my life has been. You are one of the things that got me through the toughest parts. If I hadn’t had you in my life I can guarantee you I wouldn’t even be here right now. I owe you my life, you are my best friend. I feel like I fucked that up by getting us involved in something sooner than we should have. I should have broken up with Sam before I even kissed you that night. I should have left her and given myself to you, not the other way around.”

“Chester you guys were married. You vowed to her you would fight until the end. You owed it to your kids to give everything you had. Our end was inevitable, no matter how you look at it. We were over before we even began.”

“Mike why does it have to be that way? Why can’t I still have you? Talinda is great, she’s great with the kids and she’s there for me when I need her but damnit Mike she’s not…”

“She’s not what? A man?”

“She’s not you!”

Mike turned away and gazed into the city lights. He drank his beer before he spoke. “Chester we’ve been over this. It won’t work. Talinda will get jealous and then we’ll end up right where we started. I can’t lose you like that again. I’ve died a thousand deaths waiting for you to break up with her. Getting over you was the hardest thing I had to do.”

“You’re over me?” Chester whimpered.

Mike turned to Chester and looked him in the face. “Yes, I’m over you. I’ve accepted the fact that there will never be an us, it’s just me and you and the band and that’s all there is ever gonna be. That’s where it has to end.”

“I refuse to accept that. It can’t be the end. It doesn’t feel right.”

“Well the sooner you do the sooner we can stop playing these games and get on with our lives. We start touring next month, I suggest you do it by then.” Mike said as he headed towards the door.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Talinda visits her family, but what she comes home to was not what she left.

Chester was on the edge. He hadn’t talked to Mike since he walked out of the restaurant. Mike wouldn’t answer his calls or texts. Chester wanted to confide in Talinda. He didn’t want to mess up the one good thing he had going for him, but he wasn’t sure how much more pain he could take. He had scored a few bags of drugs from his dealer a few days ago when Talinda went to spend time with her family. Chester had sent the kids to Samantha’s and told everyone he was ill.

Left alone in the house Chester decided to use the drugs. Anything was better than replaying the pain he caused Mike, than feeling this enormous hole in his heart, in his soul. Chester shot up the drugs and passed out not long after.

He woke up to being shaken violently. “Chester! Chester wake up! Oh god Chester please wake up!” It was Talinda, she had come home early to check on him.

“I’m up I’m up. What are you doing here?” Chester slowly sat up, feeling like he had been knocked out with a frying pan.

“I was only gone for two days. You said you were sick so I didn’t want to leave you alone. What the hell is going on?”

Chester couldn’t speak, he just started to cry. Wasn’t he cheating on Talinda whether he was with Mike or not? Wasn’t it crueler lying her to than telling her how he felt? He couldn’t care anymore. If he didn’t get this out he felt he was going to kill himself.

“Chester? Baby please talk to me. Let me help you! You’re in so much pain. I hate this.”

“Talinda. Talinda I love you. I just can’t take this anymore. God this hurts so fucking much.” Chester was kneeling on the floor, holding onto Talinda like an anchor.

“It’s Mike isn’t it.”

Chester couldn’t answer. Confirming it could make him lose her but denying it could make him lose everything.

“Chester, I know you two were together.”

“How did you know?”

“Phoenix and I had a talk about it. He has lose lips when he drinks.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything about it to me?”

“I figured it was over, I didn’t want to pry. I thought that if it needed to be talked about you’d come to me. Do we need to talk about it?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if there is anything to talk about anymore.”

“What happened between you two outside?”

Chester started to cry again. “I said something stupid. I didn’t mean it the way it came out. It just went down from there.”

“What did you say?”

“I said it took a few mistakes for me to find you.”

“Oh Ches. You guys went out after that though, didn’t things get better?”

“We were ok for a minute. I tried to apologize. And then he said he was over me.”

“Are you over him?”

“I don’t think I will ever be over him, Tally. He is such an important part of my life. I love you, you are the mother of my children and you are so good to me.” Chester said as he nuzzled her. “Mike knows me on this level that I don’t even know myself. He has a piece of my heart and it’s created a hole in me.”

“You miss him, don’t you?”

“Yes.” Chester could barely answer.

“Chester I can’t bear to watch you be in pain over this. I love you and I know you love me. If you two need to be together, then it is something I have to sacrifice. The children need a mother and someone to care for them while you are touring. If you can find a way to make this work, I will do everything I can to make us work.”

“Talinda, I don’t know what to say. I’ve been trying to work past this but everytime I see him it’s like I’m kicked back to square one.”

“I know, I’ve watched you go through this enough to know this is the right thing to do.”

Chester kissed her passionately and held her. Why did it take so long to find her? She was everything he needed, and she realized that he needed Mike too. Finally he felt like there was hope.

“Where is Mike now?”

“I don’t know, he isn’t answering my calls.”

“I will text the guys and see if they know. Go pack a bag. You are going to find him and win him back.”

Chester kissed her again and headed upstairs to pack. He was going to stay and make him love him again, no matter what it took. There was nothing holding them back now.

By the time he came back downstairs Talinda had spoken to his band members and found out where Mike was. He was heading back to California, Brad had said, to see if he could patch things up with Anna.

“Chester, you better hurry. Good luck, I love you.”

“I fucking love you too Talinda. You are the best wife a husband could ask for.”

Chester booked the first flight to California which was only in about an hour. He bought a neck pillow from a stand and waited by the door. Honestly, it didn’t matter if he did make up with Anna. He had stolen him from her before, he could do it again. What Mike felt for Anna was nothing compared to what they had together.

It took Chester 5 hours to land and rent a car. Mike was staying at a nearby hotel. He drove there and asked the receptionist to call his room to see if he was there. He was. Chester headed up. This was it, now or never. He was about to lay his heart on the line for better or for worse. Again.

He knocked on the door. Mike’s expression was nothing less than surprised tinged with pain. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m here to be with you.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can Chester win Mike back?

“Chester, I told you, it’s over. You can’t keep dragging me through this.”

“This is it, Mike, I’m yours. I told Talinda I couldn’t live without you. She wants me to mend this with you, she’s ok with it Mike.”

Mike wasn’t sure what to think. Women were capable of making some insane decisions sometimes, but this? 

“Let me come in and I’ll tell you about it.”

Still confused by what he heard, Mike opened the door wider and let him in. Talinda couldn’t possibly be ok with them being together? And if she was, then at what cost?

“Chester, what are you talking about?”

“After you left Talinda went to visit her family and I sent the kids to Sam’s for the week. She came back early and I had passed out from shooting up. She woke me up and we talked. She said she knew we had been together in the past and couldn’t bear to see me in so much pain. She said if we could find a way to make this work, she would support us.”

Mike slowly sat down on the bed as Chester talked. Was this real? Could they be together and not hurt the other people they loved? It would certainly make their upcoming tour much easier than fighting their love for each other.

“Look Mike. I know you said you were over me. I know I’m asking a lot of you to consider taking me back, but just think, we can go back to what we used to be! You were happy, I was happy, we were in love. It was the farthest thing from a mistake, we were perfect.”

Mike was caving quickly. It was all he could do to keep from throwing Chester on the bed and claiming him right then. He couldn’t be hurt again though. The thought of going through breaking up with Chester was unimaginable. It was worse than that, it was death.

Chester could see Mike was fighting with himself. Why couldn’t he just let them be happy? “Why don’t I just give you some time to think? I’ll get a room and you can come by and talk if you decide you’ll have me. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

That was the thing, Mike thought. His heart had already decided what it wanted the second he saw Chester at the door. It was his mind that wouldn’t let go. As Chester picked up his bags, Mike’s heart screamed ‘Don’t let him walk out that door again!’

Mike blocked Chester’s way to the door and said “Put your bags down. You are staying here with me, where you belong.”

As Chester dropped his bags they were overcome with passion. Mike pushed him against the wall and kissed him like it was the last time he would ever get the chance. Chester stood frozen, in love. He had taken him back. All was right again. His heart could stop breaking and start healing.

Mike’s hands were on each side of Chester’s face while Chester gingerly placed his hands on Mike’s hips under his shirt. Their tongues made love and their kisses were soft and sweet. Chester’s hands began to slide under Mike’s shirt, taking in the warmth from his stomach and chest. He longed for skin on skin contact. Mike paused and took his shirt off. That’s when he saw it. There, draped around Mike’s neck was the necklace Chester had given him for Christmas. He had been wearing it all along. It looked so beautiful against his skin and was the perfect accent leading to Mike’s muscular chest.

Mike caught Chester gazing at the necklace and said “I put it on the day before I came over to help with the tree and I haven’t taken it off since. When I saw you wearing my beanie it killed me not to touch you and kiss you.”

“Well you can make up for it now.” Chester’s voice was heavy with desire.

“I don’t think I will ever stop kissing you again.” Mike said as he leaned in for more. He put one hand on the wall and the other under Chester’s shirt, tracing his back. This made Chester move closer, their bodies pressing together. Chester took his shirt off and hooked one finger into Mike’s waistline, seductively leading him to the bed. Mike tackled Chester, pushing him onto the bed and climbing on top to kiss him. 

As Mike supported himself with his arms, his hips began to move against his partners’. Chester’s legs wrapped around Mike as they entwined themselves together. Chester’s fingertips moved lightly up Mikes back, only to have his nails dig into his skin on the way down. These were the only markings Mike wanted etched into his skin. Mike let out a high moan. “Fuck I missed that sound!” Chester said. Mike’s grinding was getting more intense. Chester could feel his cock rubbing against his leg as his own cock began pulsing, begging to be free.

Chester began kissing Mike’s neck, kissing the necklace, his chest, and on down. Mike laid down on the bed. His hips raised to meet the kisses gently being place on his stomach, following his happy trail, stopping right above his pants. Chester unzipped them, leaned towards his face and massaged his cock through his boxers. Mike’s expression was twisted with pleasure. He grabbed Chester’s arm and pushed his erection against his hand. “Touch me.” He begged.

Chester slid his hand inside, feeling the heat and wetness of precum from Mike’s tip. Chester pulled his cock from under the material and began teasing it with his tongue. He lapped up the precum as his thumb put pressure on the sensitive vein underneath. His palm worked into his balls as Chester deep throated him. Mike moaned softly, and then louder when Chester wrapped his mouth around him.

“Stop. I’m gonna…” was all he could manage before he burst into Chester’s mouth. Mike grabbed Chester’s hair and he slowly thrust in and out of his mouth, riding out his orgasm. Chester cleaned him off, savoring the sweet taste of his cum. It was the best flavor in the whole world.

“Oh my god baby. That was amazing, I love you.” Praised Mike.

“Let’s see you get that out of Anna!” teased Chester.

“She’s not who I’m thinking about right now, baby. All I see is you. And now it’s you I want to hear cumming.”

Mike got up on his knees and shoved his hand inside Chester’s pants. As he jerked him off he began kissing his neck, biting his ear softly and whispering “I love you” in his ear. Chester unzipped his jeans and stood up to take them off. 

“What do you want baby? Tell me your fantasy.” Mike asked.

“I want you to make love to me on the bed, missionary style.”

“Done. You gonna put on a show for me while I pleasure you?”

“Always.” Purred Chester.

Chester grabbed a bottle of lube from his bag and sat down on the bed. As he laid back, Mike covered his body with kisses. This is heaven, he thought.

Mike took the bottle, which was in the shape of a phallus, and teased Chester’s entrance. “Open up for me baby.”

“It’s been two years, I might need some convincing.”

The sight of Chester waiting and writhing for him was making Mike hard again. He pressed his half-staffed cock against his entrance. “How’s that for convincing?” he asked. Chester moaned.

Mike squeezed some lube onto his fingers and set the bottle aside. He entered in two fingers, lathering his lover’s insides well. He began scissoring them, inviting him to loosen up, but not too much. Mike liked him loosened just enough to take the tip, and then push the rest in so it grabbed his cock. 

“Are you ready for me? I know you’re dying for release.”

“Fuck Mike yes. I need this.”

Mike rubbed more lube onto his now rock hard cock and prepared to enter him. He pushed in just an inch, did a few tiny pushes to get him ready and then pushed himself all the way through. Chester cried out in pleasure, lifting his legs to help Mike aim for just the right spot. Just as a sailor knows the ocean, Mike knew exactly how to find it. As he rocked in and out of Chester he began jerking him off in time with his thrust. He could see little beads of precum escaping his cock. 

Mike’s thrust grew shorter and faster. Chester was breathing heavily, enjoying every second. “I fucking love you Mike. Don’t you ever say you are over me again.”

“It was a lie baby. I could never stop loving you.” Mike slowed down and made his thrusts slow and deep, passionately kissing his man. He could feel Chester’s cock begin to pulse against his stomach as he began pulsing inside Chester. This drove Chester crazy.

“Fuck baby. Fuck.” Cried Chester. Mike grabbed Chester’s cock and aimed it at his torso. “Cover me with your cum. Let it go.”

Chester grabbed Mike’s ass, pushing him farther in. Three more thrusts and he was gone, rolling high on love through his orgasm. His cock shot thick streams of cum over Mike’s chest and stomach as Mike released himself inside Chester. Together their voices sounded as harmonious as they do on stage.

Mike collapsed on top of Chester, cleaning himself off with the sheets. He wiggled himself behind his lover as he came down from his high, planting a sweet kissed on his shoulder. He took his hand and said “How did we give that up for two years?”

“I don’t know, but I promise I will never give you up again.” Replied Chester. Mike nuzzled Chester’s neck. He was happy things had finally worked out. Things might be weird for awhile adjusting to him still being with Talinda but being allowed to be together. He was confident things would work this time.


End file.
